Music for your Midweek: Kishi Bashi - "I Am The Antichrist To You"

It was love at first sight. I first saw Kishi Bashi the summer of 2011. Then again last February at Kilby Court. And now I hear he's coming back to Utah to play at Urban Lounge on May 23rd. Dream come true. Here's one of my favorite songs of his:

and here are a couple other songs from the Cardinal Sessions.

an empty space

"You die in the middle of your life. 

In the middle of a sentence."

- The Fault in Our Stars

From here.

People seem surprised when I say I'm still sad, that I'm always missing my dad. Most people have told me the same thing. Friends, and family, and church leaders tell me that those feelings will go away, it's not forever, you will find peace in your faith.

But I've found that's not necessarily true.
My experience seems to prove the opposite, if anything.

Since my dad passed away, I've read anything and everything about death. This article from the New York Times was especially helpful:

"When disasters strike we may have an immediate empathic response, but underneath we are often conditioned to believe that “normal” is where we all should be. The victims of the Boston Marathon bombings will take years to recover. Soldiers returning from war carry their battlefield experiences within. Can we, as a community, keep these people in our hearts for years? Or will we move on, expecting them to move on... Mourning, however, has no timetable. Grief is not the same for everyone. And it does not always go away. The closest one can find to a consensus about it among today’s therapists is the conviction that the healthiest way to deal with trauma is to lean into it, rather than try to keep it at bay. The reflexive rush to normal is counterproductive."

This article about stealing time was also touching. I wish I had a stolen day with my dad.

When you lose someone, they are gone. It is final. The spot they had in your life is now just an empty space. And those spaces can't be filled.

Nothing can change that.

Sweet Becky shared this quote with me soon after Christmas:

"To resolve your grief you must accept the fact: What was will never be again. You will have to give yourself permission to grieve for it. If you do not, you will never appreciate the future which may be even better or more meaningful than the past."

Recap Attack: Double bread, Double chins

My last Recap Attack was way back in December, so I have some catching up to do. I thought I had taken a bunch of great pics, but most of them are embarrassing snap chats, like this:

 You see? I don't get it, I keep trying to convince all my friends to get snap chat, but they are so resistant. Why? It is the best. It will change your life.

So anyway, here's a little sampling of what I've been up to the past few months:

visited the byu sacred gifts exhibit to commemorate my dad's birthday. it was beautiful. 

went on a winter walk with Ingrid when she was in town. can you believe this is just minutes from my house? i live in the best place, so spoiled. 

our family received one of the biggest loaves of bread I've ever seen for christmas. giant sized.

yet another reason why you should get snap chat. i'll send you photos like this on the regular.

i'd say this picture speaks for itself...

roommate fun... with glowing baby dino

turning 27 means forcing all your friends to wear pig tails at your spice girls themed birthday party.

broke my phone screen on my birthday...

went to the temple with Laura for her first time. it was lovely.

one of the hidden gems in our old, quirky house.

what my life looks like these days

i've been going on a lot of walks with my dear brother christian

i love seeing succulents in landscaping

salt lake sunset on 18th ave

new life motto

Meet me at the Equinox

Happy First Day of Spring! 

From here.

I went on a jog this morning for the first time in months, and it was glorious. I'm more excited for this spring/summer more than I've ever been. In a month, I'll be able to eat sugar again (woohoo!). I'm going to continue morning jogging, and train to run a 10k in August. I'm moving back up to Salt Lake. I'll be starting a new job (still haven't found one yet, but I'm confident it will all come together, right?). I'll be attending a new ward. Both my mom and I will be living in new houses.  A lot of changes coming our way.

I read this post this morning about the equinox and how it symbolizes birth and new beginnings. I love that.

"During Winter, darkness wins the day.  The vernal equinox marks the time where light and dark are in balance and bears the promise that light will overcome darkness.  In the spiritual sense, we emerge from our own darkness and into the renewal and hope of light.  Darkness shouldn't be viewed as a negative thing, though.  Much insight is gained through darkness; the light affords us opportunity for growth and change.  We emerge from a period of deep introspection,  the seeds of which are prepared to sprout in fertile soil."  

It reminds me of one of my favorite scriptures; Alma chapter 5 verse 26:

"And now behold, I say unto you my brethren, if ye have experienced a change of heart, and if ye have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can ye feel so now?"

The Plant and its Enemy - Paul Klee

To end, here's one of my favorite songs that reminds me of spring, from one of my favorite films:

Music for your Midweek: Owen Pallett

Owen Pallett has a new album coming out! I am thrilled. check out one of his new songs:

If you want something even darker (You know you do), take a look at this:

Check out and article about him here.

Music for your Midweek: L'homme Run

I have to apologize. There is a special spot in my heart for Vampire Weekend, especially their frontman, Ezra Koenig. I should have told you about L'homme Run a long time ago.

Before forming Vampire Weekend, Ezra was a "rapper". Who knew? 

ALERT: Salty words ahead.

)

It's the dumbest best thing. I love it. 

Y'all just need to follow Ezra on twitter guys.

OH. And here's an actually good cute song that Ezra Koenig performed at THE OSCARS #nbd.

)

March Mix: Here to Stay

Here's your mix for March. It is my life! It is somethin'!

1. Settle Down - Kimbra


2. Ain't That The Way - Divine Fits


3. One Thing - Peter and Kerry


4. Drop the Game - Flume & Chet Faker


5. F·U·Y·A - C2C


6. Psychic Trauma - Cloud Nothings


7. From The Sun - Unknown Mortal Orchestra


8. Shuggie - Foxygen


9. Tonight - Jonas Alaska


10. Paris - Foreign/National


11. Dangerous - Big Data


12. Murakami - Made In Heights


13. Twice (Little Dragon Cover) - Waterstrider


14. Two Fingers - Jake Bugg


15. Simple And Sure - The Pains Of Being Pure At Heart


16. Guess I'm A Fool - Hugh Laurie

NOTES:
1. best best best
6. Preach, Cloud Nothings. Preach.
7. I was just now looked up the lyrics to this song, WHILE EATING POPCORN ALL ALONE. It doesn't get weirder than that, guys.
14. Still so glad my Dad told me about Jake Bugg...
16. Do you know who it is singing to you? Hugh Laurie. Do you know who that is? Dr. House. HE HAS A WHOLE ALBUM.

No, you are good, Hugh.

What a doll.

I've been feeling a little blah, so here's a video for all y'all:

Ash Wednesday

Genesis 3:19 "...for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return"

I've been particularly interested in the story behind Lent. The marks of ash on people's heads serves to remind them of their own mortality, and encourage humility. Remembering mortality can feel like a burden. But it should also remind us that this life is a brief moment that we should live as best we can. I love these chances for renewal during the year. Things are alright, but 2014 has been a pretty emotionally and spiritually difficult year for me so far. I'm glad for a chance to start over. It's also my one month anniversary of being 27 (do you ever think of your birthdays like that?) and I really need to get my butt into gear.

I had contemplated going vegan for Lent, since it is more in line with Christian tradition. But I don't think I've adequately honed my cooking skills to undertake that challenge without dying. So it's all whole foods, and no white sugar for me. I probably wouldn't mind it so much if it weren't for losing Diet Coke and gum... but I guess I'll make it work!

That's what I like about Lent. with New Years resolutions, people are usually promising to make a change that will LAST THEIR WHOLE LIFE.
But we all know that's all a lie.
With Lent, I can be both committed, and honest. Sure, it would be great if I kept all these resolutions for the rest of my life, but it's better to be realistic. After 40 days, I can return to may lazy, aspartame guzzling and sugar eating ways.

But more than a health resolution, Lent is a time for prayer, fasting, and repentance. That is what is most important to keep in mind.

Music for your Midweek: Half Moon Run

My obsession with BBC's Live Lounge continues. Here we have Half Moon Run covering CHVURCHES "The Mother We Share". Keeping it folksy.

Happy Casimir Pulaski Day!

It's today!

Learn about Casimir Pulaski here!

Listen to this song and cry!

Read about the Sacred and Secular here!

I'm the laziest blogger. Hope you like links.