Let's Illustrate

Fell down a rabbit hole a few days ago when I found the Flickr profile for the British Library. (Thanks random Facbook post!) Proceed with caution. Once you're in, you might spend hours browsing through the galleries like I did. How can you resist beautiful painted papers that were found on the inside of some of the books? :

Also, things get a little weird you guys. Especially in the kids section. Here are some of the favorite images I found:

Some browsing music for you:

Don't go home, Angelina

A photographer found these negatives while rummaging through a box of pictures in a thrift store.

Aren't they beautiful?

You can read more about them, and the campaign to find the girls in the negatives, here.

"Stay with me, hanging around in the lost and found."

The year the locusts ate

     On New Years eve, a few years back, I turned down all the invites for parties and Veags trips so that I could go to the shores of the Great Salt Lake. Or at least, where I thought the shore would be. I forgot that in the winter the water recedes, so those beaches are just frozen salt. I had a vision of floating a candle on the water out into that darkness. A solitary send-off to 2012. I packed my favorite mix, tin-foil to make a raft, a small votive, matches, and drove west.

     I just wanted to see how it would look. A prayer to start the new year.

Image by Charles Uibel

     It was too snowy and I remember the sky was orange from the Magna factory lights reflecting off the the clouds. I had to drive slow and worried I would get in trouble parking on the frontage road. Worried that someone would stop me. They might think I was losing it or that I was drunk or that I was high and lost my way from the EDM party underway at Saltair. And if they stopped me, what would I say? My reason for being there wasn't any more rational.  I stumbled through tall grasses and snow, and eventually realized there was no way to reach water before the midnight deadline. I stopped and crouched over the nearest friendly snowbank and burrowed out a spot for my candle. Pulled off my gloves and went through 5 matches trying to light it. When the wick finally caught, that little flickering flame seemed like the smallest sweetest thing. So fragile compared to the dark ahead of it.

     As I stood there, I felt it. Full of weight like a wave. I knew that something was going to happen in the upcoming year. It would be heavy and and difficult and I would be powerless against it.

     I don't know how many of you have felt like you had spiritual promptings, but usually they came to me like a feeling of peace, relief, and assurance. This was like that prompting, but the only comfort in it was knowing that I was so small in comparison, the only thing to do was to go through. It would not be a brave choice, it would be the only choice.

From February

    6 months later, my dad suddenly passed away.

    Last month on Father's Day was the two year anniversary of his death. I relive certain moments in my head from that time: Seeing my uncle walk into my room on the phone with me mom to tell me what happened. Watching The Bling Ring with Katie and Melinda the night of his memorial. Staring at the computer screen at work, doing absolutely nothing. I remember a lot of things. But so much of that time was lost. I couldn't do anything.

     A friend from one of my singles wards in Provo shared this scripture from Joel and her thoughts on her blog:

25 And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpiller, and the palmerworm, my great army which I sent among you. 

26 And ye shall eat in plenty, and be satisfied, and praise the name of the Lord your God, that hath dealt wondrously with you: and my people shall never be ashamed.                                                                                     Joel 2:25-26

     I feel as though those moments are being restored to me. That heavy weight is slowly lifting. But the past still colors everything I do. It informs every decision that I make. I don't need to distance myself from that grief in order to believe that "there are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind".

     Last December, my family went to see a children's production of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe to celebrate my dad's birthday. When the play reached the part of the death of Aslan, the lights went out, and the narrator read straight from the book:

         "I hope no one who reads this book has been quite as miserable as Susan and Lucy were that night; but if you have been - if you're been up all night and cried till you have no more tears left in you - you will know that there comes in the end a sort of quietness. You feel as if nothing was ever going to happen again...  

          Hours and hours seemed to go by in this dead calm, and they hardly noticed that they were getting colder and colder... The country all looked dark grey, but beyond, at the very end of the world, the sea showed pale. The sky began to turn red. They walked to and fro more times than they could count. Then at last, as they stood for a moment looking out towards the sea... the red turned to gold along the line where the sea and the sky met and very slowly up came the edge of the sun."

From our trip to Antelope Island

     Those hours.
     Those years.
     They're coming back.
     I can see it.

Dreem Teem: R. Kelly and Pheonix

My brother posted this on Facebook recently. I don't know why he didn't post it on my wall. I guess he just doesn't know me at all.

First off, I hate Coachella because I just get a huge case of F.O.M.O. when I even think about it (also I hate that F.O.M.O. is a a thing we talk about). I will never be a music festival goer because:

A. I'm too cheap
B. There are huge crowds which I hate more than ANYTHING. Honestly I'm so spoiled. I even avoid the Twilight concert series (and it's only $5!) because of the crowds
C. I'm really judgmental and they seem like the kind of places that are filled with people I "hate"
D. There are all these articles online about how to "dress for the fest" and it makes me want to hyperventilate cause there is nothing worse than standing in 150 degree weather and the only water you can get is $10 a bottle AND you have to look hot?!?!?!? Are you kidding me?!? That is hell.

(Note: these are all the things I repeat to myself over and over cause I really do want to make it out to Bonnaroo sometime but I THINK I MIGHT BE TOO OLD NOW? This is awful)

ANYWAYZ. This is what I wanted to show you:

When you think about it, this sort of thing was inevitable. 

This is everything great and horrible in the universe all at once. It is the epitome of selling out and I love it in an Andy Warhol sort of way. Love it love it love it.

Nice to meet you

God bless you Johnny Flynn.

I'd like to know where you have been,

and I wish I knew you sooner.

I really just think you should listen to all of his songs as soon as possible.

Graduation - "Grow Till Tall"

Commencement was yesterday. I walked through the woods (literally and figuratively) to get there.

"You'll know, when it's time to go on
You'll really want to grow and grow till tall
They all, in the end, will fall"

I still want to grow.

Watch my favorite movie. I'm doing you a favor.

I found out from this funny person that "The Fall" is available on Netflix streaming.

You should watch it.
It is also kinda violent in parts (Tarsem Singh is a little loco, but in a good way). It is obvious when you will need to close your eyes an ears.

But it is beautiful too.
One of the most beautiful things I've ever seen...

AND IT STARS THE GUY FROM PUSHING DAISIES!!!

You're welcome.

Really, how could you NOT watch it.

Actually, if you have the choice, DON'T watch it on Netflix on your lame-o computer. It should be viewed in all its Blu-Ray glory. If your nice, I'll let you borrow my copy.

Rowdy Summer

Do you feel that?

SUMMER IS COMING.

We have just one day over sixty degrees, and I freaking out. My mind immediately skips over spring and jumps into the big swimming pool of SuMmEr..
I can't wait for it.
Can't Can't Can't Wait.

One would think that having a 9ish to 5ish job would make you feel more grown up. But it actually makes me feel like you're just a lousy kid, back in school. You have to be there on time, wait to leave, focus, your only break is lunchtime and a short recess, and you have to wear a uniform. Hence, when I am out of the office, I'm like a kid out of school. HYPER. And it's only going to get worse and I am so excited for that.

It's going to get rowdy.

I can't wait till we're in bonfire weather. I can't wait to go on road trips to Arizona (Melinda and Katie, I'm looking at youzzz). I can't wait to join the crowds at Rio Tinto. To lay-out all day and listen to awful pop music and live off of liquid and run up some mountains and drive all over the west and visit all those places that I haven't made time to visit and be with all those people who make time worthwhile.

I can't wait to be outside and be wild.

It's time to be a hooligan.

Bangarang.

Here's a mini-musical-journey through the summers of my life:


In case you were wondering, I was Baby Spice. And I had the wardrobe from Limited 2 to prove it.



WE HAD SO MANY EMOTIONS. I still don't know how we survived.



High-school summers are some of the bestest.



JAKEY LAKEY
*note: this version is not clean
**another note: yes, he does instruct you to "take yo do-rag off, let your mane go". Always good advice.


I missed a couple summers while I was on my mission. Since then, the summer months have lost a bit of their sparkle. But I'm going to bring it back this year.

I'm excited to start building the soundtrack for this summer. I hope you'll help me out.

January Mix: Set the World on Fire

First post of 2012. Sorry it's late; this new year has been busy so far. Books are being read, stuff is being organized, crafts are being crafted, muscles are being strained. Jolly good fun. Instead of attempting to recap what I did for New Years, I'll just show you this video.



I was not a mere observer this time, but a full fledged participant. But don't worry, I didn't shoot roman candles directly at anybody.

Some say the world will end in fire, Some say in ice. From what I've tasted of desire I hold with those who favor fire. - Robert Frost

New Years Eve 2012 mix: Set the World on Fire

1. I love NYE - Badly Drawn Boy
2. Happy New Year - We Are the City
3. The Chase Is On - Hoodie Allen
4. What You Know (Feed Me Cover) - Two Door Cinema Club
5. We Found Love (feat. Calvin Harris) - Rihanna
6. United State of Pop 2011 (World Go Boom) - DJ Earworm
7. Magic (Feat. Gary Go) - The Knocks
8. Tongue Tied - Grouplove
9. Poisoned With Love - Neon Hitch
10. When I'm Bigger - Rizzle Kicks
11. Origins - Tennis
12. Don't Hang Up - The Orlons
13. Against The Grain - Hudson
14. Keep It Rollin - Y LUV
15. We Are Young (Feat. Janelle Monaé) - fun.
16. Reasons to love you - Meiko

NOTES:
3. "I could be better than I was,
lighter on my feet,
cookin' up this soul when we fire up the beat.
Light the fire underneath me,
higher when I speak
Like I'm climbin' up a steep tree.
oooo come and greet me."
Pretty good motto for 2012, don't you think?
6. BOOM
8. I heard a rumor abouts the in internets that you can/could download this track for free on iTunes? Lucky you!
10. Just in case you weren't in love with them already, click here. 
16. Special thanks to Suzy, George, and Ingrid for showing me this song.

Happy Accident

Maybe they weren't accidents. Blessings more like it. With less than a week before school starting up, I accomplished the following:

- Drove from Virginny to Utah

- Unpacked and organized all my things

- Found an inexpensive condo with a Fall/Winter contract a block away from campus

- Interviewed for a job

- Went to doctor's appointments

- Had my car fixed up (a long and nerve-wracking ordeal)

- Got my hair did

- Checked out great music from the library (Here We Go Magic, Japandroids, Yact, and Patrick Park, to name a few)

- Reunited with all those that I've missed over the summer while I've been back east.

- Repacked and organized all my things

- Drove to Provo

Most of my fears were put to rest. I couldn't believe that things could be better, but then...

- I went to my classes, and just got so excited listening to my enthusiastic professors and seeing all the cool things we are going to read (El Quixote! Borges! Isabel Allende! woohoo!).

- Got permission to add 2 more credits (semester now totaling 20 credit hours) so that I don't have to do an independent study and I will be fully done in December.

- Actually moved into my more than adequate apartment (we have a fireplace AND a balcony? yes.).

- Met my room mates who are perfect (so far :). One competes in triathlons, went on her mission to Norway, AND is an English grad student! She was pleased when she saw my Nancy Drew cookbook. The other is on the track team, super friendly and outgoing, AND she is half cuban half mexican so she can help me with spanish!

- Found out that I have a job!

- Wrangled a spot in the History of Christianity class that is ALWAYS full.

- Found out I have another job!

- Reunited with people I haven't seen in a long time.

- Met up with T and Allison. I've missed those girls.

- Got the new schedule for International Cinema. Boys and girls, it is going to be awesome. 

There were tons of mini miracles too. It reminded me of when I was on my mission.

But I know these blessings come with a responsibility. I'm going to have to be extra studious to handle my heavy course load. I'm sure there will come a time in a couple months where I wallow in self-pity due to lack of sleep and too many late-night Spanish cram sessions. I shouldn't even be typing this right now, I have NO time. But for now, I will be happy that it is all working out.

Don't you love it when things unexpectedly fall into place?

P.S. You should check out the rest of Matt Stuart's photos. 

They are so witty.

s'more?

Whaaaaaat?

I'm still confused as to what this is.