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| Brother Christian, Jeremy and I. Looking and feeling our best in 1993. |
BARGAINA rose will cost you more
Than its gathering;
A song be such a price
You dare not sing.
What must you pay for each,
Else loveliness fare amiss?
Yourself nailed to a Tree—
This.
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| Soon-to-be former abode. 12-15-2015 |
REGARDING A DOOR
regarding a door
its open and shut
but it is less open and shut than a wall
a wall is something to lean on
and its unwise to lean on a door
regarding a door
you can take it in hand
turning the knob of a door you can open it and step through
then its no longer a door
now in the case of a wall its a wall wherever you are
which is evident and consoling
with a wall you always know where you are
while a door is only a door from the outside
there is also something substantial about walls
maybe its the materials from which theyre made
the bricks and the plaster
but more likely is the absence of hinges
the hinges in doors are like hidden conditions
upon which everything turns
theyre like the small print in contracts
a door depends on its hinges
but it also depends on a wall
there is nothing unusual about a wall without doors
a door without walls is ridiculous
also a door is always suggesting another side
so doors seem ambiguous and appear to be forever changing its mind
but regarding from whatever angle
it is always offering you the same proposition
there are many unanswered questins about doors
why is is that there arent circular or eliptical doors
what is it thats frightening about sliding doors
and what about the colors of doors
green doors in brick walls
white doors in black walls
and black doors in white walls
this will lead you to suspect that I am talking about symbols
rather than about doors and walls
whats all this talk about doors and walls anyway
why not talk about something real
like strainers
- David Antin
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| Riding in the back of a minivan with my two moms |
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Our hostess with the mostest was an excellent tour guide
and took us to get the best food. I'm still dreaming about
Vishnu's Indian buffet...
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| Look at this cute Popchips advertisement that Google made for me. |
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| Sarah's apartment is just like The Hills; hot tub and all! Sort of. Where's my Justin Bobby? |
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| Wetlands refuge |
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| Paddle Hi-5 |
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| California tree, man. |
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| Cuties |
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| From here. |
Ezekial 36:26-27
26 A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh.
27 And I will put my spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes, and ye shall keep my judgements, and do them.
Ephesians 4:22-24
22 That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts:
23 And be renewed in the spirit of your mind;
24 And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.
2 Corinthians 5:16-17
16 Wherefore henceforth know we no man after the flesh: yea, though we have known Christ after the flesh, yet now henceforth know we him no more.
17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.
1 Corinthians 15:42-44
So will it be with the resurrection of the dead. The body that is sown is perishable, it is raised imperishable; it is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory; it is sown in weakness, it is raised in power; it is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body.
In times of stormy weather
She felt a queer pain
That said,
"You'll find rain better
Than shelter from the rain."
Days filled with fiery sunshine
Strange hurt she knew
That made
Her seek the burning sunlight
Rather than the shade.
In months of snowy winter
When cozy houses hold,
She'd break down doors
To wander naked
In the cold.
- Langston Hughes
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| Must be *this tall* to hike. JK anyone can hike, but no whining. |
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| We knew the trip was off to a good start when we found these hats at the Family Dollar |
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| First of a million selfies |
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| The team forges ahead |
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| Paying reverence to the mountain gods |
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| :) :) :) :) |
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| This is real life |
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| Girls on the move One of my favorite shots |
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| We saw bears! |
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| And bison! |
"The album is about our lives. It's about losing people that we love, but enjoying life. We're still alive, and we have to enjoy every moment of life. And, remember people that are going with a smile."
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| Image from this interview |
A purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever it around to be loved. - Kurt Vonnegut
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| Bonneville Shoreline Trail, 12-1-2015 |
Ecclesiastes 11
1 Cast they bread upon the waters: for thou shalt find it after many days.
2 Give portion to seven, and also to eight; for thou knowest not what evil shall be upon the earth.
3 If the clouds be full of rain, they empty themselves upon the earth: and if the tree fall toward the south, or toward the north, in the place where the tree falleth, there it shall be.
4 He that observeth the wind shall not sow; and he that regardeth the clouds shall not reap.
5 As thou knowest not what is the way of the spirit, nor how the bones do grow in the womb of her that is with child: even so thous knowest not the works of God who maketh all.
6 In the morning sow thy seed, and in the evening withold not thine hand: for thou knowest not whether shall prosper, either this or that, or whether they both shall be alike good.
7 Truly the light is sweet, and a pleasant thing it is for the eyes to behold the sun:
8 But if a man live many years and rejoice in them all; yet let him remember the days of darkness; for they shall be many. All that cometh is vanity.
9 Rejoice, O young man, in they youth; and let they heart cheer thee in the days of thy youth, and walk in the ways of thine heart, and in the sight of thine eyes: but know thou, that for all these things God will bring thee into judgement.
10 Therefore remove sorrow from thy heart, and put away evil from thy flesh: for childhood and youth are vanity.
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| Bonneville Shoreline Trail 12-1-2015 |
HORSE
Finally got the horse broke in. It took years.
Now, not strong enough to ride it. It was wild,
and ornery, yes. Which came, in part, from its not
knowing it was a horse, meant to be ridden.
Wouldn't look you in the eye. Shied from looking
itself in the eye. Wouldn't look in the mirror,
especially not in back, Didn't know it had a back
Funny, how it followed. Didn't have to be caught.
It offered its back, asked for the saddle. Or, so
I thought. A joke! Throw you? That
horse wouldn't let you touch lip or nose with your
feeding hand, let alone get a leg over. Yet it hung
around, acting as if. Acting as if. Would come up
behind you, nuzzle your neck. You'd turn, grab
for its mane. It slid away. But never kept
away for long. Unpredictable. Drove you crazy.
Made you ornery. Broke you. Wish I was strong now,
and that horse not so strong. It wouldn't take long.
To have it. Gentled. Ready to mount. Eager to have
me. Eating out of its hand.
1.
Why should I have been surprised?
Hunters walk the forest
without a sound.
The hunter, strapped to his rifle,
the fox on his feet of silk,
the serpent on his empire of muscles—
all move in a stillness,
hungry, careful, intent.
Just as the cancer
entered the forest of my body,
without a sound.
2.
The question is,
what will it be like
after the last day?
Will I floate
into the sky
or will I fray
within the earth of a river—
remembering nothing?
How desperate I would be
if I couldn't remember
the sun rising, if I couldn't
remember trees, rivers; if I couldn't
even remember, beloved,
your beloved name.
3. I know, you never intended to be in this world.
But you're in it all the same.
so why not get started immediately.
I mean, belonging to it.
There is so much to admire, to weep over.
And to write music or poems about.
Bless the feet that take you to and fro.
Bless the eyes and the listening ears.
Bless the tongue, the marvel of taste.
Bless touching.
You could live a hundred years, it's happened.
Or not.
I am speaking from the fortunate platform
of many years,
none of which, I think, I ever wasted.
Do you need a prod?
Do you need a little darkness to get you going?
Let me be urgent as a knife, then,
and remind you of Keats,
so single of purpose and thinking, for a while,
he had a lifetime.
4.
Late yesterday afternoon, in the heat,
all the fragile blue flowers in bloom
in the shrubs in the yard next door had
tumbled from the shrubs and lay
wrinkled and facing in the grass. But
this morning the shrubs were full of
the blue flowers again. There wasn't
a single one on the grass. How, I
wondered, did they roll back up to
the branches, that fiercely wanting,
as we all do, just a little more of
life?
PERSONAL
In an envelope marked:- Langston Hughes
Personal
God addressed me a letter.
In an envelope marked:
Personal
I have given my answer.
THE HEROES
I dreamed of war-heroes, of wounded war-heroes
With just enough of their charms shot away
To make them more handsome. The women moved nearer
To touch their brave wounds and their hair streaked with gray.
I saw them in long ranks ascending the gang-planks;
The girls with the doughnuts were cheerful and gay.
They minded their manners and muttered their thanks;
The Chaplain advised them to watch and to pray.
They shipped these rapscallions, these sea-sick battalions
To a patriotic and picturesque spot;
They gave them new bibles and marksmen's medallions,
Compasses, maps, and committed the lot.
A fine dust has settled on all that scrap metal.
The heroes were packaged and sent home in parts
To pluck at a poppy and sew on a petal
And count the long night by the stroke of their hearts.
YES, THE MYSTERY
Yes, the mystery
the mystery of life
the horrid mystery of it
Many have seen it clearer than I
have sat in it
been stuck in it
stood in it up to their nostrils
and chose not to breathe
rather than suck in its stench
And not breathing is most difficult
To stop to refuse to not-respond
is most difficult
Why even in the abstract
it's enough to make you vomit
Thank if those roses
were dipped in tar
Thinking it they are
and your eyelids drop off
your neck will never turn again
and you must stare
at the black leather petals forever
Oh Heavenly Father leave us the illusion
of the flies who cluster the lake of urine
gushed by the horse in the fetid prison
of his stall
and the bliss and energy that spins them
as they bathe and dip their sugar there
TRUE ROMANCES
1
When I knew them them they were an ordinary couple, she
smiled and laughed a lot, she was a physiotherapist I
think, and there was nothing wrong with him either,
that you could see, except he was a little, you know.
That summer they went on their vacation together,
they always went on their vacation together, to Spain,
that was back when you could still afford it, and
everyone thinks he but her up and left her in four
garbage cans around the city, or maybe not in cans,
do they have cans there? In Barcelona, except it
wasn't Barcelona. It's like that guy who was keeping
his wife in the freezer, you know? And a couple of
kids went looking for some popsicles or whatever.
He didn't even have a lock on the freezer, some
people are pretty dumb. He said they'd gone to
Madrid, except it wasn't Madrid, and one day she just
went out for a walk and never came back, but the
landlady, in Barcelona or whatever it was, says she
saw him back at the flat or whatever it was they'd
rented, after the day he said they'd gone to wherever.
And the cans with her in them were in Barcelona, not
Madrid. So they're there and he's here and naturally
they want him to go over, for questioning they say,
and naturally he won't. He says he doesn't need the
distress all over again. I'll bet. Not that I would either
if I was him. I saw him in the supermarket last week.
He was holding an eggplant and said, Aubergine,
It's a much better word, don't you think? He was
running his fingers over the purple skin. He hasn't
changed a bit.
THE DREAM KEEPER
Bring me all of your dreams- Langston Hughes
You dreamers,
Bring me all of your
Heart melodies
That I may wrap them
In a blue cloud-cloth
Away from the too-rough fingers
Of the world.
WEATHER
I hope they never get a rope on you, weather.
I hope they never put a bit in your mouth.
I hope they never pack your snorts
into an engine or make you wear wheels.
I hope the astronauts will always have to wait
till you get off the prairie
because your kick is lethal,
your temper worse than the megaton
I hope your harsh mane will grow forever,
and blow where it will,
that your slick hide will always shiver
and flick down your bright sweat.
Reteach us terror, weather,
with your teeth on our ships,
your hoofs on our houses,
your tail swatting our planes down like flies.
Before they make a grenade of our planet
I hope you'll come like a comet,
of mustang — fire-eyes, upreared belly —
bust the corral and stomp us to death.
VADE MECUM
I want the scissors to be sharp- Billy Collins
and the table to be perfectly level
when you cut me out of my life
and paste me in that book you always carry.
