What goes on in your heart

I'm in the Spanish mindset. I was reading a headline from the  New York Times ("Republicans Suggest White House Rushed Solar Loan"), and was thoroughly confused. “...solar?” I thought. “What in the world is that? Is it a corporation? But it’s not capitalized in the article.... I’ve never heard that word before!” Then I realized that in my mind I had been pronouncing it “sol-are” instead of “sol-er”. yeah yeah. Spanish.

And then I was talking to someone what and asked, "What impulsed you to make that decision?"And they looked at me kind of like, "what?" I mean, I guess you can say that in English, but it comes across awkwardly. (Fact: the word "awkward" doesn't really exist in Spanish. Which I guess means they are never awkward. Just like the word "chubby" doesn't exist in Norwegian. Interesting, right?).

All day, everyday, it's spanish spanish spanish. I've become such a language word. I love my grammar class. Can you believe that? Anyone who has spoken spanish with me would assume that grammar is my least favorite topic, but I'm starting to become fascinated by it. There are treasures and hidden meanings in everything. I'm unraveling the secrets of culture and accent. I feel like learning spanish makes me a new person.

But now to what impulsed me to write today. I'm starting to find my heart. I feel secure that I am on the right path. A path that will let me do my part in a bigger whole. Sometimes I forget what I've done. I got this e-mai from Arjun a couple days ago. I'll share it with you:

Dear Gretchen
Namaste!
How are you? i hope you are fine there. Well, we are all fine and working hard for the children.
Today i really much happier as i found your e-mail address. Gratchen, where r you now? i hopw you are working in the Church as a holy girl! We are soon celebrating our Dasain festival during tthat time we have holiday and we all enjoy a lot! Gratechen you are always wel come to visit our home. We never forget you and your kind cooperation and support. could you please tell me more news from there. i wish you all the best. May the Lord Buddha be always with you.
Yours
Arjun paudel

This is me, Arjun, and his wife with some of the children from the orphanage.
I had to do a screenshot to get this photo, so it's not the best quality.
You can see more of  my pictures from Nepal on Facebook.

Everytime I look at my pictures from that time, my heart breaks a little. I have ties to these people. It's the same when I look at pictures from my mission. It aches.

Speaking spanish has helped me maintain that connection. 

I can't wait till I get to visit my friends in Bolivia and Peru. I'll be heading back to South America in April. URUGUAY. If all goes as planned, I may stay awhile, and hopefully get a chance to visit my old mission stomping grounds.

Oh yeah. "The Game" is today. I guess that's a big deal.

I just noticed that the U symbol is pretty trendy. You know, with feathers and everything.

We'll see if it affects their game.

Happy Accident

Maybe they weren't accidents. Blessings more like it. With less than a week before school starting up, I accomplished the following:

- Drove from Virginny to Utah

- Unpacked and organized all my things

- Found an inexpensive condo with a Fall/Winter contract a block away from campus

- Interviewed for a job

- Went to doctor's appointments

- Had my car fixed up (a long and nerve-wracking ordeal)

- Got my hair did

- Checked out great music from the library (Here We Go Magic, Japandroids, Yact, and Patrick Park, to name a few)

- Reunited with all those that I've missed over the summer while I've been back east.

- Repacked and organized all my things

- Drove to Provo

Most of my fears were put to rest. I couldn't believe that things could be better, but then...

- I went to my classes, and just got so excited listening to my enthusiastic professors and seeing all the cool things we are going to read (El Quixote! Borges! Isabel Allende! woohoo!).

- Got permission to add 2 more credits (semester now totaling 20 credit hours) so that I don't have to do an independent study and I will be fully done in December.

- Actually moved into my more than adequate apartment (we have a fireplace AND a balcony? yes.).

- Met my room mates who are perfect (so far :). One competes in triathlons, went on her mission to Norway, AND is an English grad student! She was pleased when she saw my Nancy Drew cookbook. The other is on the track team, super friendly and outgoing, AND she is half cuban half mexican so she can help me with spanish!

- Found out that I have a job!

- Wrangled a spot in the History of Christianity class that is ALWAYS full.

- Found out I have another job!

- Reunited with people I haven't seen in a long time.

- Met up with T and Allison. I've missed those girls.

- Got the new schedule for International Cinema. Boys and girls, it is going to be awesome. 

There were tons of mini miracles too. It reminded me of when I was on my mission.

But I know these blessings come with a responsibility. I'm going to have to be extra studious to handle my heavy course load. I'm sure there will come a time in a couple months where I wallow in self-pity due to lack of sleep and too many late-night Spanish cram sessions. I shouldn't even be typing this right now, I have NO time. But for now, I will be happy that it is all working out.

Don't you love it when things unexpectedly fall into place?

P.S. You should check out the rest of Matt Stuart's photos. 

They are so witty.

Beehive State

I made it back to my home state. Virginia trembled at my absence. Literally.
Jeremy flew out to drive back with me. I think we made it in good time.

I finally found a place to live, I have an interview for a campus job on Thursday. Everything seems to be neatly falling into place. 

For the past 6 years of my life, I haven't lived in one city for more than 8 months. I am a little wary of graduation, since I will now be expected to act like a grown-up. Aren't grown-ups supposed to stay put, at least most of the time? I don't know if I can put my ramblin' ways to rest. We shall see.

Speaking of ramblin'. I love roadtrips. I love driving. They are not a burden to me. As long as you are in good company there can be hours of delightful banter, meaningful music, audio-books and trashy magazines. Who doesn't want that?

I was a little anxious at the start of this trip since we didn't adequately stock up on audio supplies. But Jeremy spotted an outlet mall off the highway, and the book store was going out of buisness (bad for the written word, good for us). Most of the books on CD were just a few dollars. We listened to:

A War of Gifts: An Ender Story - Orson Scott Card
     Not great, but not bad. I wish we could have found Ender's Game instead. I loooooved that book.

Foreskin's Lament - Shalom Auslander
     You have heard this man on This American Life. His stories are great. Funny poignant and painful. I found that I could only handle the vignettes from his life in small doses. He narrates his own book. Brilliant.

I Capture the Castle - Dodie Smith
      A favorite. The story is so charming.

Jeremy and I run on the same wavelength. Every hour or so, we would search the radio for a strong NPR signal. When we reached Pittsburgh, we found both NPR and an independent music station. Thanks to them, I found this music:







Tomorrow, I'm going back to Provo for the first time in 4 months.
...
Pray for me.

Mini-Me

WODdling soundtrack: Bon Iver - For Emma, Forever Ago

Laila had a play date with a friends, so it was just Ava and I for most of the day. WOOOHOOOO! We went to "the club," planning to spend the whole day there. I thought it would be a good chance for her to branch out without her sister; meet some new kids. There were perfect candidates playing in the water when we arrived. They looked about 4 years old, friendly and happy, they were there with their nannies too. She shyly wandered to the side a the pool. A cute red-headed girl with goggles bobbed over. "Hi!" she said. "I'm Maddie! Do you want to play with me?".

YES!
The golden words!

Ava's response?
"No thank you."

WHAT?!?!

You see, when we've gone to the park, the girls say that nobody wants to play with them. But I know that's not true. Kids try and play with them, but the girls sort of shy away. They are perfectly content playing on their own; they rarely let other kids into their little world.

What really drives me crazy?
Ava is just like me.

We get exactly what we want, the perfect situation laid out in front of us, and we simply say, "No".
It's a big problem.
I've talked about this before.
Sometimes it seems easier to stay by ourselves instead of letting someone else in to our little worlds, but that is no way to live.

So what should I do when I see a mini-me in the making?
I asked her why she didn't want to play with Maddie (she didn't know). I tried to coach her in things she could say, games she could play, to help her make friends (she was ambivalent). Maddie was a more experienced swimmer than her, it seemed to hard.

I don't know if I helped her, but she had a fun day regardless. Maybe next time she'll be able to play with the cool kids.

On another note, kids books are great.
I'm trying to train these kids to be good readers; we go to the library a couple times a week. It pains me every time when Laila picks out these sorts of books:

I actually try to pick out a couple "quality", age-appropriate books like this one:

and this one:

(As you can see, I've tried to tell the girls to look for books with seals on them. "That means they are good authors!" I say. Then Laila will pick up the latest in the tween-drama-gossipy-mean-girls book and say "My friends tells me that these are by a really good author!". Mmmmmm not quite.)

Maybe these books don't have as much flash as the other ones, but their brains will thank them for it later. It's sad to see books being dumbed down. Luckily, Ava will let me pick out and read pretty much anything to her.

So we read this today: 

The story and the illustrations are quite charming.

kids kids kids.

August Mix: Get Gone

I am leaving here in 20 days. I am both happy and sad.
This is a perfect mix for that, for leaving.
It has a bit of old stuff. Maybe you will remember it from when we used to listen to it over and over in high school.
And some new stuff, that I guess will become old eventually.

Isn't the end of SUMMER the best/worst?

1. You Are a Tourist - Death Cab For Cutie
2. Young Blood - The Naked And Famous
3. The Fear of Charlie Sunrise - Baby Monster
4. Manners - Icona Pop
5. Up All Night - Alex Clare
6. Seventeen Years - Ratatat
7. Hustle (Cillo Remix) - Tunng
8. Dead Hearts (LightsoverLA Remix) - Stars
9. Cliquot - Beirut
10. Final Form - Everything Everything
11. Video Games - Lana Del Rey
12. Hey Ya (Acoustic) - Obadiah Parker
13. Home  - Mumford & Sons
14. Honolulu - Last Dinosaurs
15. Pop Culture (Live Mashup) - Madeon
16. Ulysses - Mason Jennings
17. I Can See The Pines Are Dancing - A.A. Bondy

Notes:
1. Oh Deathcab. Transatlanticism was one of my top 5 albums of 2004 fer sure. It's good to hear from them again.
4. Remember that Chiddy Bang track from last month? This is the song that the sample was from. It is great.
5. HOTTTTTTTTTTT
6. I've been rapping for about sevteen years okay? 
I don't write my stuff anymore I just kick it from my head you know what I'm sayin? 
I can do that.
No disrespect but that's how I am.
10. Every bit of this song is perfect. 
11. LISTEN TO THIS
15. "These are 39 of my favorite songs". What a cutie. This guy is 17... can you believe it!?!? All y'all 
know I love J-Biebs, but he has got nothing on this kids when it comes to talent. just AWESOME.
17. This song perfectly captures the end of summer, don't you think? 


Toodles.

North Carolina

John Nesbitt Loop soundtrack: Ben Kweller - On My Way

Good things come from North Carolina.
Like the Avett Brothers:


lovem

Also, my cousins, the Whites are here.

We took a trot around the loop, then to Cowboys and Aliens.
Did you know that Paul Dano is in it?
What a scamp.

Then spent the rest of the afternoon on the boat, on the beach, and in the water.
Perfect.

Did you know that this is the first time in probably about 10 years that I've swam in honest to goodness salty ocean? With sand and a beach and shells and everything? I've missed it.

Sweet pics coming soon. I am exhaust.
Yep.
Too tired for past participles.

"Old" Media

I am no longer up on what is cool and hip.

I rely on old comforts for my culture hit.

Like this movie.

We watched it tonight, and this clip cracked me up TOO much.