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On the trail
03-07-2016 |
2016 has been off to a rough start. Had a mental break-down in the middle of volunteering for the Sundance Film Festival. Crawled through an anxiety-riddled 29th birthday. Tried turning things around and made some progress, but got chewed out by a therapist (?!) and ended up feeling pretty miserable. Not to mention exuding a general coldness towards the people I care about most.
Sorry, world!
This is probably too much to divulge onto the internet, but I'm hoping it would provide some context. Things are getting better. I've been blessed by surprise opportunities and patient friends. It can just be a struggle to keep perspective.
I was asked to speak at church a couple weeks ago and gave my talk on Easter Sunday. I generally take whatever assignment I'm given and try to combine it with whatever I've been thinking about lately. I try and write the talk that I wish I could hear.
So, here it is! Hope it brings some Hope.
A Bright Sadness
For the past several years, I have
given up something for Lent. Lent in primarily observed in Catholic and
Orthodox Christian traditions and covers a period of 40 days beginning on Ash
Wednesday and ending on Holy Saturday. In the past, I’ve given up social media,
sugar, and sleep, with varying degrees of success. This year, I gave up meat,
and was thrilled that the ward chose to celebrate the last day of Lent with me
by providing bacon after we finished cleaning the church yesterday.
But along with my small chosen
sacrifice for the season, I also attempted to better understand the tradition
of Lent and what it means to our fellow Christians. The Greek Orthodox
theologian, Alexander Schmemann describes this season as a “bright sadness”. It
is meant as a time of fasting and sacrifice where we contemplate the situation
of man in a fallen world. As a consequence of the fall, we will all experience
sadness and hardship. Sin is often the main cause our estrangement from God.
Trials and challenges may also lead us to think that we have been abandoned or
that there is not hope for us. I am sure that many of us have felt that type of
sadness at some point in our lives. But the main message of Lent and of the
gospel as a whole, is that despite the darkness that sometimes surrounds us, we
can find hope in the Savior. This hope comes through understanding the
atonement and resurrection of Jesus Christ.
All are invited to partake of
Christ’s atonement. No burden is too heavy and no circumstance is too bleak.
And while we have seen of late how easy it is to segregate ourselves in the
world and pit ourselves against one another, the good news of the gospel of invites
us all to come unto him despite our differences.
… for he doeth that which is good among the
children of men; and he doeth nothing save it be plain unto the children of
men; and hi inviteth them all to come unto him and partake of his goodness; and
he denieth none that come unto him, black and white, bond and free, male and
female; and he remembereth the heathen; and all are alike unto God, both Jew
and Gentile.
How is Christ able to promise succor to all God’s children?
It is through the miracle of the atonement. All of us are in need of
intercession as a consequence of the fall. In the Doctrine and Covenants, it
outlines how we became separated from our Heavenly Father:
40 Wherefore, it
came to pass that the devil tempted Adam, and he partook of the forbidden fruit
and transgressed the commandment, wherein he became subject to the will of the
devil, because he yielded unto temptation.
41 Wherefore, I,
the Lord God, caused that he should be cast out from the Garden of Eden, from
my presence, because of his transgression, wherein he became spiritually dead…
The atonement is what corrects and
overcomes the consequences of these choices. It saves us from sin and death. It
reconciles us with God and brings us back into the Holy Ghost’s sphere of
influence. In Isaiah, a prophecy is made concerning how this redemption will
come to all men:
3 He is despised
and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as
it were our faces from him; he was
despised, and we esteemed him not.
4 Surely he hath
borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken,
smitten of God, and afflicted.
5 But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was bruised for our iniquities: the
chastisement of our peace was upon
him; and with his stripes we are healed.
Through the miracle of the
atonement, our sins, though as scarlet, may be white as snow. It is everlasting
and can cover all of us, even though it may seem we are at the furthest edge of
where it can reach. We are given the gift of agency, which puts the
responsibility on us to let the atonement work in our lives. When we make
covenants, keep the commandments, and serve others, we are inviting the
blessings of the atonement into our lives. The atonement allows us to cultivate
hope. It will serve as a beacon and bring comfort. Paul beautifully describes
this hope in his epistle to the Corinthians:
6 For God, who
commanded the light to shine out of the darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to
give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus
Christ.
7 But we have this
treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God,
and not of us.
8 We are troubled on every side, yet not
distressed; we are perplexed, but not
in despair;
9 Persecuted, but
not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed…
17 For our light
affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory;
The Jesuit Priest, Reverend James Martin shares how this type
of hope can help transform our earthly experience:
“Some days are indeed times of great pain and some are of great
joy, but most are…in between. Most are, in fact, times of waiting… Waiting to
get into a good school. Waiting to meet the right person…Waiting to get a job…
Waiting for life just to get better.
But there are different kinds of waiting. There is the wait of
despair. Here we know—at least we think we know—that things could never get
better, that God could never do anything with our situations. This may be the
kind of waiting that forced the fearful disciples to hide behind closed doors
on Holy Saturday, cowering in terror…Then there is the wait of passivity, as if
everything were up to “fate.” In this waiting there is no despair, but not much
anticipation of anything good either.
Finally, there is wait of the Christian, which is called hope. It
is an active waiting; it knows that, even in the worst of situations, even in
the darkest times, God is at work. Even if we can’t see it clearly right now.
The disciples’ fear was understandable, but we, who know how the story turned
out, who know that Jesus will rise from the dead, who know that God is with us,
who know that nothing will be impossible for God, are called to wait in
faithful hope…”
41 And what is it that ye shall hope for? Behold I say unto you that
ye shall have hope through the atonement of Christ and the power of his
resurrection, to be raised unto life eternal, and this because of your faith in
him according to the promise.
But one of the most beautiful
lessons the gospel teaches, is that through the Lord, we can accomplish all
things. Even the unimaginable. One of my favorite stories is of Martha, Mary,
and their brother, Lazarus. Jesus had received word that Lazarus was sick but
by the time he had come to the family, Lazarus had been dead for two days. Mary
and Martha had faith in Christ, in fact, when Marry meets him she bears a small
testimony saying “If thou hadst been here, my brother had not died”. But her
vision was limited. She had faith in Christ’s power, but had placed her own
limits on his abilities. In John we read:
39 Jesus said,
Take ye away the stone. Martha, the sister of him that was dead, saith unto
him, Lord, by this time he stinketh: for he hath been dead four days.
40 Jesus saith
unto her, Said I not unto thee, that, if thou wouldst believe, thou shouldest
see the glory of God?
41 Then they took
away the stone from the place where
the dead was laid. And Jesus lifted up his
eyes, and said, Father, I thank thee that thou hast heard me.
42 And I knew that
thou hearest me always: but because of the people which stand by I said it, that they may believe that thou hast
sent me.
43 And when he
thus had spoken, he cried with a loud voice, Lazarus, come forth.
44 And he that was
dead came forth, bound hand and foot with graveclothes: and his face was bound
about with a napkin. Jesus saith unto them, Loose him, and let him go.
In this example, Christ shows the true power of the Gospel
and that it can surpass mortal understanding. He declares.
25 I am the
resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet
shall he live:
26 And whosoever
liveth and believeth in me shall never die…
Mary had faith that Lazarus
could have been healed had Christ been there, and she also had hope that he
could attain life after death. But she didn’t realize that the power of God
could stretch farther than that. Like Mary and the crowd of mourners, I often
place limits on what I think the Lord can accomplish in my life. I have a
mustard seed of faith, but hold to doubts that it can become anything more than
a seedling. Oftentimes I excuse myself by saying that I am simply being
realistic, but in reality, it is a lack of faith. Christ’s atonement and
resurrection are evidence that nothing is impossible through his power.
I was blessed to see first-hand the
changes that come through the atonement of Jesus Christ as I taught
investigators and members. For the last 6 weeks of my mission, I served with a
sister from Bolivia, Over time, I came to realize that she was illiterate. She
could wrestle through reading a scripture out loud, but couldn’t understand
what she had read. I also discovered that she had been abused and was most
likely suffering from PTSD. She had severe anxiety and refused to speak up
during lessons, let alone talk with people on the street. But she was one of
the sweetest companions I had, and always looked for opportunities to serve. I
became accustomed to our routines and accepted as fact that I would do all the talking, tracting and teaching till I
finished my mission. On my last night as a missionary, we hurried toward the
chapel for a baptism. I was so happy and distracted, I hardly noticed my
companion slow her pace. Her face beamed as she spoke with a woman who was
walking just behind us. She gave her name, and that she was a representative of
Christ, and shared her testimony. I was shocked. After hardly speaking
to anyone besides me for 6 weeks, she had shared a beautiful testimony of the
love that Heavenly Father has for each of us to a complete stranger. It was a
humbling moment. I was so focused on our investigators and my last days in the country;
I had almost missed seeing the miraculous changes that were being worked in my
companion.
Each of us will have our own sojourns in the
wilderness, a time of Lent and fasting and sacrifice and sorrow. But as we end
Lent and celebrate Easter, I am grateful for the knowledge of the atonement,
and the hope we can find in the resurrection.
