It all started when I found this:
Then I started reading into personality tests. I've taken quite a few. We needed to take this colors test as part of work (I'm a majority green, secondary gold). I even paid 10 bucks to take the "official" version of the enneagram personality test. This is what I got:
Yeah. The results were pretty accurate, and it made me kind of sad.
"The overall direction of their personalities therefore is inward, toward increasing self-absorption, because Fours feel that they are different from other people, and they want to know why they feel this way. Ironically, however, they try to find their place in life by withdrawing from it so they can trace the labyrinth of their emotions. But the result of their withdrawal is that even average Fours have noticeable difficulties coping with life, while unhealthy Fours have some of the most severe emotional difficulties of all the personality types."
Later on in the description, it talks about healthy and unhealthy fours. Hopefully I'm one of the "healthy" fours? I better be, because apparently people with my personality type often fall victim to addiction, depressive thoughts, and suicide... not so great. But it also provides advice about how you can work through your personality to reach your full potential. I like that.
It reminded me of this scripture in D&C 46:
11 For all have not every gift given unto them; for there are many gifts, and to every man is given a gift by the Spirit of God.
12 To some is given one, and to some is given another, that all may be profited thereby.
13 To some it is given by the Holy Ghost to know that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, and that he was crucified for the sins of the world.
14 To others it is given to believe on their words, that they also might have eternal life if they continue faithful.
15 And again, to some it is given by the Holy Ghost to know the differences of administration, as it will be pleasing unto the same Lord, according as the Lord will, suiting his mercies according to the conditions of the children of men.
16 And again, to some it is given by the Holy ghost to know the differences of the administration, as it will be pleasing unto the same Lord, according as the Lord will, suiting his mercies according to the conditions fo the children of men.
17 And again, verily I say unto you, to some is given, by the Spirit of God, the word of wisdom.
18. To another is given the word of knowledge, that all may be taught to be wise and to have knowledge.
19 And again, to some it is given to have faith to be healed;
20 And to others it is given to have faith to heal.
21 And again, to some is given the working of miracles;
22 And to others it is given to prophesy;
23 And to others the discerning of spirits.
24 And again, it is given to some to speak with tongues;
25 And to another is given the interpretation of tongues.
26 And all these gifts come from God, for the benefit of the children of God.
Instead of thinking of my personality as lacking or flawed, I'm trying to understand my personality traits as gifts. It's the way I utilize them that can make them "good" or "bad". I can choose to develop my talents, gifts and personality by recognizing my inclinations, and tuning them to the Lord.
That makes it all seem much more hopeful.