Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Music for your Midweek: "Innocence" - Electric Youth

Took me a while to pick a last song of the year, but I think this is a pretty good one to end things on:




Tuesday, December 30, 2014

December Mix: Mirror Change

Here's a sweet, lonely little mix to finish out the year. The following 14 songs are a pretty good representation of what 2014 was to me as a whole:

1. Heavenly Day - Patty Griffin


2. 10,000 Emerald Pools - BØRNS


3. The Day You Died - Phantogram


4. Quiet Nights - Catching Flies


5. Comfort Me - Feist


6. Clay Pigeons (Blaze Foley cover) - Michael Cera


7. Cameo Lover - Kimbra


8. Silver Line - Lykke Li


9. Locked in My Head - Radioactivity


10. The Next Episode (San Holo) - Dr. Dre


11. Seasons (Waiting On You) - Future Islands


12. Kissing You - Des'ree


13. Smile - Madeleine Peyroux


14. Reasons to Love You (Meiko cover) - George and Millie Parkinson





NOTES:
As for me, I'll most likely be listening to this old mix when the clock strikes midnight. It's a dear one to my heart.

Thursday, December 25, 2014

Thursday Verse: "For the Time Being: A Christmas Oratorio" - W.H. Auden

This poem (actually a short book) was written during World War II. Below is an expert from the last portion of the poem:

III
Narrator 
Well, so that is that. Now we must dismantle the tree,
Putting the decorations back into their cardboard boxes --
Some have got broken -- and carrying them up to the attic.
The holly and the mistletoe must be taken down and burnt,
And the children got ready for school. There are enough
Left-overs to do, warmed-up, for the rest of the week --
Not that we have much appetite, having drunk such a lot,
Stayed up so late, attempted -- quite unsuccessfully --
To love all of our relatives, and in general
Grossly overestimated our powers. Once again
As in previous years we have seen the actual Vision and failed
To do more than entertain it as an agreeable
Possibility, once again we have sent Him away,
Begging though to remain disobedient servant,
The promising child who cannot keep His word for long.
The Christmas Feast is already a fading memory,
And already the mind begins to be vaguely aware
Of an unpleasant whiff of apprehension at the thought
Of Lent and Good Friday which cannot, after all, now
Be very far off. But, for the time being, here we all are,
Back in the moderate Aristotelian city
Of darning and the Eight-Fifteen, where Euclid's geometry
And Newton's mechanics would account for our experience,
And the kitchen table exists because I scrub it.
It seems to have shrunk during the holidays. The streets
Are much narrower than we remembered; we had forgotten
The office was as depressing as this. To those who have seen
The Child, however dimly, however incredulously,
the Time Being is, in a sense, the most trying time of all.
For the innocent children who whispered so excitedly
Outside the locked door where they knew the presents to be
Grew up when it opened. Now, recollecting that moment
We can repress the joy, but the guilt remains conscious;
Remember the stable where for once in our lives
Everything became a You and nothing was an It.
And craving the sensation but ignoring the cause,
We look round for something, no matter what, to inhibit
Our self-reflection, and the obvious thing for that purpose
Would be some great suffering. Wo, once we have met the Son,
We are tempted ever after to pray to the Father;
"Lead us into temptation and evil for our sake."
They will come, all right, don't worry; probably in a form
That we do not expect, and certainly with a force
More dreadful than we can imagine. In the meantime
There are bills to be paid, machines to keep in repair,
Irregular verbs to learn, the Time Being to redeem
From insignificance. The happy morning is over,
The night of agony still to come; the time is noon:
When the spirit must practice his scales of rejoicing
Without even a hostile audience, and the Soul endure
A silence that is neither for nor against her faith
That God's Will will be done, That, in spite of her prayers,
God will cheat no one, not even the world of its triumph. 
IV
Chorus 
He is the Way.
Follow Him through the Land of Unlikeness;
You will see rare beasts, and have unique adventures. 
He is the Truth.
Seek Him in the kingdom of Anxiety;
You will come to a great city that has expected your return for years. 
He is the Life.
Love him in the World of the Flesh;
And at your marriage all its occasions shall dance for joy. 

-- W.H. Auden 

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Music for your Midweek: "Silent Night"

Hope you all have a Happy Christmas tomorrow. Here's something a little jazzy to get your holidays started:



I'm reading Chet Baker's biography right now. Heartbreaking.

And one in German, for my dad:

Thursday, December 18, 2014

Thursday Verse: "Those Winter Sundays" - Robert Hayden

My dad passed away a year and a half ago. We will be celebrating what would have been his 56th birthday this Saturday. Be nice to your fathers.


Those Winter Sundays

Sundays too my father got up early
and put his clothes on in the blueblack cold,
then with cracked hands that ached
from labor in the weekday weather made
banked fires blaze. No one ever thanked him. 
I'd wake and hear the cold splintering, breaking.
When the rooms were warm, he'd call,
and slowly I would rise and dress,
fearing the chronic angers of that house, 
Speaking indifferently to him,
who had driven out the cold
and polished my good shoes as well.
What did I know, what did I know
of love's austere and lonely offices?

- Robert Hayden

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Music for your Midweek: "La quiero a morir"

My taste in music changed drastically on my mission. the cheesier the better. One of my very favorite songs that we would hear on combis and buses was DLG's (Dark Latin Groove!!!!) "La Quiero a Morir" :



It wasn't till after my mission that I discovered the true story behind this song. It was originally written in French by Frances Cabrel and released in 1979. It was a huuuugeee hit, and so he decided to release a version in Spanish in 1980 which made it an even HUGER hit. Sort of like the Hallelujah of latin america.

Shakira does a lovely version...



and so does Jarabe de Palo and Alejandro Sanz...



But you gotta watch DLG perform it live. It is a sight to behold.



It doesn't even matter if they're a little flat.
Watch them dance.
Toooooo sexy.

Thursday, December 11, 2014

Thursday Verse: "Mysteries of Afternoon and Evening" - Rachel Sherwood

Mysteries of Afternoon and Evening
The wind is fitful now:
soot piles in the corners
of new buildings,
gulls stumble out of place
in ragged branches
to skim against a rise
of pond water. 
The children watch, breathless
with the birds.
They feel an emanation
from this shuddering place. 
This winter evening
the sky cracks with cardinal color
and we sit in cooing wonder
like dwarves at the Venetian court
must have done -
amazed at Tiepolo's sunshot ceilings;
like us, they were fickle,
aware of smaller inconstancy.
But the dazzle above, enclosing
seems fit or made for this
fragment of belief. 

                                                          - Rachel Sherwood

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Music for your Midweek: "For Today I Am A Boy" - Antony Hegarty and Franco Battiato

You are not really an adult until you hit certain milestones, and apparently my generation is not measuring up. I know many of us don't feel settled, or at least feel the pressure of not accomplishing what's expected of us. This contrast is especially felt in the LDS church, where even church services are kept separate between young, unmarried members and the "general" family population. Until we are married, we cannot meet our full potential. We are children.

Antony Hegarty has the tenderest of souls, and this is one of his most tender songs. It somehow manages to make me feel hopeful and sad all at once. Not sure Anthony would agree with the way I've applied his lyrics to my life, but I think he would be sympathetic.

Listen. It's beautiful.



That particular track comes from a album/performance with Franco Battiato. Watch them perform "You Are My Sister" together below:



And a devastating version of "Crazy In Love":



P.S. This album would make a great Christmas present...

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Thursday Verse: "Shall the Good Go Down" - Langston Hughes

Shall the Good Go Down?

All over the world
Shall the good go down? 
Lidice?
Were they good there?
Of did some devil come
To scourge their evil bare? 
Shall the good go down? 
Who makes fine speeches
Far from the ravaged town? 
Spain?
Were folks good there?
Or did some god
Mete punishment
Who did not care? 
Who makes fine speeches
Far from the beaten town? 
Shall the good go down? 
Are we good?
Did we care?
Or did we weary when they said,
Your theme wears bare?
PROPAGANDA--
Boring anywhere. 
Shall the good go down? 
Who are the good?
Where is their
Town? 


Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Music for your Midweek: George Parkinson - "Silver Lining"


George covers "Silver Lining" by Rilo Kiley. One of his favorites:





Miss you sweet George.



Monday, November 24, 2014

A time to weep, and a time to laugh

Last week, I went to George Parkinson's funeral. I had seen him just a week earlier, and couldn't reconcile our recent conversations with the fact that he was gone. It's still hard for me to wrap my head around.

4th of July, 2013
It's hard to know where to begin with George. He was unequivocally himself. He was creative, and talented, and funny. We bonded early over our shared love of music. He first remembered me because I told our second grade class that my favorite band was Ace of Base. I first remembered him because he taught me how to suck the helium out of balloons and sing the munchkin song from Wizard of Oz. He jumped at any opportunity to share his talents, something that I hope to emulate. I wish that everyone could know him.

Campfire at George's, September 2012

The events of the past couple weeks have thrown me back in time.

I've relived my last moments with George in my head a thousand times.

I've pored through photos and videos, reminiscing over the past 20 years of friendship.

I've felt the familiar pangs of grief and mourned again for the loss of my dad.

Death is senseless. Even with a belief in a creator, it feels cruel. I'm trying to stretch my vision into something more eternal, but my perspective is still constrained. Despite that, I've been able to find moments of peace. I am blessed by kind, thoughtful friends with patient ears.

A moment from this weekend's escape at Jacob Lake
I know from experience that I will always miss George. That pain won't lessen with time; his loss will always be felt. There is little I can do, but honor his memory by trying to be more like him. I hope to make some major course corrections, and live my life with same passion that George did. My dear friend Linds has been sharing words of comfort and encouragement with us. I especially love this quote from one of the articles she passed along:
"Our Heavenly Father ... knows that we learn and grow and become stronger as we face and survive the trials through which we must pass. We know that there are times when we will experience heartbreaking sorrow, when we will grieve, and when we may be tested to our limits. However, such difficulties allow us to change for the better, to rebuild our lives in the way our Heavenly Father teaches us, and to become something different from what we were--better than we were, more understanding than we were, more empathetic than we were, with stronger testimonies than we had before." 
- Thomas S. Monson

Sending love to George, and love to you all.

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Music for your Midweek: 'Til Tuesday - "Voices Carry"

"I'm so happy the band's doing well... 
By the way, what's with the hair? 
Is that part of the new 'image'?"

Get ready for a great 4 minutes and 18 seconds. I like my movies to be like music videos, and my music videos to be like movies. This one delivers.


I want Aimee Mann's hair soooo bad. Maybe I can get extensions to fake the Padawan braid?

Beauty



Friday, November 7, 2014

November Mix: Remnants

Too cold for any fun. Just stay inside and listen to some music.

1. All My Loving - Amy Winehouse


2. Baby Baby - Tropkillaz

3. I Summon You - Spoon


4. The Build Up - Kimbra

5. So Sorry - Feist

6. How Can You Live With Yourself? - Alex Anwandter 

7. Queen - Perfume Genius


8. Leave Me Alone - New Order

9. World of Pleasure - Radioactivity


10. Blackbird Through the Dark - Patrick Park


11. Without a Face - Luluc

12. Waiting - Alice Boman


13. Kiss Me Again - Jessica Lea Mayfield

14. Coming Home - Leon Bridges

Here's the Spotify playlist. Several tracks missing:



NOTES
2. Too groovy. There are just a handful of downsides about moving away from Provo. One of the worst? No more dance parties :(((
5. I don't know what it is, but most movies I watch on an airplane secure a special place in my heart. Back in 2007, I was flying home from Nepal when I watched "Jane Austen Book Club". Maybe I was initially just suffering from one of these reactions. But guys. This is one of my fave movies now. Even when I'm not flying. I can watch it a million times.
6. Love this groovy Chilean singer. Listen to all his songs. Especially "Tormenta".
7. Saw Perfume Genius last month. He truly lives up to his name. Listen to all his songs and see all his shows and for heaven's sake buy that "feminem" t-shirt while you're at the show cause it's the only place you can get them and I totally regret not buying one :(((
9. Jeremy showed me this song. Wish I had gone to the show at Diabolical when they came through!
10. I was able to see Patrick Park back in May, all on my lonesome. You probably remember him from this track and the OC. His music reminds me of driving through forests and red rock country in Northern Arizona while working at Jacob Lake. The sweetest thing. Kilby Court was maybe a third full. He talked about one of his recent shows where a girl complimented him on his cover of "Something Pretty". Poor guy.
11. Thanks to Ingrid for sending me a link to this Tiny Desk Concert! Great discovery.
13. "My life is falling apart
or is it getting better?
I don't know."

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Thursday Verse: "Still I Rise" - Maya Angelou

Still I Rise

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind the nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.


- Maya Anglou


Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Music for your Midweek: The Rolling Stones - "Play With Fire"

I have to warn you, once you start watching these old videos, it's pretty hard to stop. Thought I would post this one again in case you missed it the first time.

A gem from the Rolling Stones, 1965.



Love the car, love the choreographed head movements, love the girls far-off screams in the background. Flawless

Thursday, October 30, 2014

Thursday Verse: "Do Not Go Gentle into that Good Night" - Dylan Thomas

Do Not Go Gentle into that Good Night

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze the meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Music for your Midweek: Sivu - "Better man than he"

Sivu is a treasure.

I shared one of his tracks in my mix from August, and in last year's October mix. He contributed to a lovely track on Alt-J's new album. I just like him a lot.

I'm a sucker for a good brass section. The landscape is incredible. Hope you enjoy.


We'll find faith in the most magical of places
And find home in the smallest of rooms
We'll find life in the most barrenness of faces
And touch Christ in impending doom

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Thursday Verse: "Harlem [Dream Deffered]" - Langston Hughes

Harlem
[Dream Deffered]

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore --
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?


                       - Langston Hughes

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Thursday Verse: "First Fig" - Edna St. Vincent Millay

First Fig

My candle burns at both ends
       It will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends --
       It gives a lovely light!


                                      - Edna St. Vincent Millay

Thursday, October 9, 2014

Thursday Verse: "The Red Wheelbarrow" - William Carlos Williams

The Red Wheelbarrow

so much depends
                                                                    upon

                                                                    a red wheel
                                                                    barrow

                                                                    glazed with rain
                                                                    water

                                                                   beside the white
                                                                   chickens
    
- William Carlos William

Thursday, October 2, 2014

Thursday Verse: "Spring and Fall" - Gerard Manley Hopkins

Spring and Fall

Margaret, are you grieving
Over Goldengrove unleaving?
Leaves, like the things of man, you
With your fresh thoughts care for, can you?
Ah! as the heart grows older
It will come to such sights colder
By and by, nor spare a sigh
Though worlds of wanwood leafmeal lie;
And yet you will weep and know why.
Now no matter; child, the name:
Sorrow's springs are the same.
Nor moth had, no nor mind, expressed
What heart heard of, ghost guessed:
It is the blight man was born for,
It is Margaret you mourn for.

- Gerard Manley Hopkins

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Thursday Verse: from "Song of Myself" - Walt Whitman

from Song of Myself

A child said What is the grass? fetching it to me with full hands;
How could I answer the child? I do not know what it is any more than he.

I guess it must be the flag of my disposition, out of hopeful green stuff woven.

Or I guess it is the handkerchief of the Lord,
A scented gift and remembrancer designedly dropt,
Bearing the owner's name someway in the corners, that we may see and remark, and say Whose?

Or I guess the grass is itself a child, the produced babe of the vegetation.

Or I guess it is a uniform hieroglyphic,
And it means, Sprouting alike in broad zones and narrow zones,
Growing among black folks as among white,
Kanuck, Tuckahoe, Congressman, Cuff, I give them the same, I receive them the same.

And now it seems to me the beautiful hair of graves.

Tenderly will I use you curling grass,
It may be you transpire from the breasts of young men,
It may be if I had known them I would have loved them,
It may be you are from old people, or from offspring taken soon out o their mothers' laps,
And here you are the mothers' laps.

This grass is very dark to be from the white heads of old mothers,
Darker than the colorless beards of old men,
Dark to come from under the faint red roofs of mouths.

O I perceive after all so many uttering tongues,
And I perceive they do not come from the roofs of mouths for nothing.

I wish I could translate the hints about the dead young men and women,
And the hints about old men and mothers, and the offspring taken soon out of their laps.

What do you think has become of the young and old men?
And what do you think has become of the women and children?

They are alive and well somewhere,
The smallest sprout shows there is really no death,
And if ever there was it led forward life, and does not wait at the end ot arrest it,
And ceas'd the moment life appear'd.

All goes onward and outward, nothing collapses,
And to die is different from what any one supposed, and luckier.

- Walt Whitman

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Thursday Verse: "Often Rebuked, Yet Always Back Returning" - Emily Bronte

Often Rebuked, Yet Always Back Returning

Often rebuked, yet always back returning
       To those first feelings that were born with me,
And leaving busy chase of wealth and learning
       For idle dreams of things which cannot be:

Today, I will seek not the shadowy region;
       In unsustaining vastness waxes drear,
And visions rising, legion after legion,
       Bring the unreal world too strangely near.

I'll walk but not in old heroic traces,
       And not in paths of high morality,
And not among the distinguished faces,
       The clouded forms of long-past history

I'll walk where my own nature would be leading --
       It vexes me to choose another guide --
Where they gray flocks in ferny glens are feeding,
       Where the wild wind blows on the mountainside.

What have those lonely mountains worth revealing?
       More glory and more grief than I can tell:
The earth that wakes one human heart to feeling
       Can center both the worlds of Heaven and Hell


  - Emily Bronte


Thursday, September 11, 2014

Thursday Verse: "Thanatopsis" - William Cullen Bryant

Thanatopsis

To him who, in the love of Nature, hold
Communion with her visible forms, she speaks
A various language: for his gayer hours
She has a voice of gladness, and a smile
And eloquence of beauty; and she glides
Into his darker musings, with a mild
And healing sympathy, that steals away
Their sharpness, ere he is aware. When thoughts
Of the last bitter hour come like a blight
Over they spirit, and sad images
Of the stern agony, and shroud, and pall
And breathless darkness, and the narrow house
Make thee to shudder, and grow sick at the heart, --
Go forth under the open sky, and list
To Nature's teachings, while from all around--
Earth and her waters, and the depths of air--
Comes a still voice:-- yet a few days, and thee
The all-beholding sun shall see no more
In all his course; nor yet in the cold ground,
Where they pale form was laid, with many tears,
Nor in the embrace of ocean, shall exist
They image, Earth, that nourished thee, shall claim
They growth, to be resolved to earth again;
And lost each human trace, surrendering up
Thine individual being, shalt thou go
To mix forever with the elements;
To be a brother to the insensible rock,
And to the sluggish clod, which the rude swain
Turns with his share, and treads upon. The oak
Shall send his roots abroad, and pierce they mold.
Yet not to thine eternal resting place
Shalt though retire alone -- nor couldst thou wish
Couch more magnificent. Thou shalt lie down
With patriarchs of the infant world -- with kings,
The powerful of the earth -- the wise, the good,
Fair forms, and hoary seers of ages past,
All in one mighty sepulcher. The hills,
Rock-ribbed, and ancient as the sun; the vales
Stretching in pensive quietness between;
The venerable woods; rivers that move
In majesty, and the complaining brooks,
That make the meadows green; and, poured round all
Old ocean's gray and melancholy waste --
Are but the solemn decorations all
Of the great tomb of man! The golden sun.
The planets, all in infinite host of heaven,
ARe shining on the sad abodes of death,
Through the still lapse of ages. All that tread
The globe are but a handful to the tribes
That slumber in its bosom. Take the wings
Of morning, pierce the Barcan wilderness,
Or lost thyself in the continuous woods
Where rolls the Oregon and hears no sound
Save his own dashings -- yet the dead are there;
And millions in those solitudes, since first
The flight of years began, have laid them down
In their last sleep -- the dead reign there alone!
So shalt thou rest, and what if thou withdraw
In silence from the living; and no friend
Take note of they departure? All that breathe
Will share they destiny. The gay will laugh
When thou are gone, the solemn brood of care
Plod on, and each one as before shall chase
His favorite phantom; yet all these shall leave
Their mirth and their employments, and shall come
And make their bed with thee. As the long train
Of ages glides away, the sons of men --
The youth in life's green spring, and he who goes
In the full strengths of years, matron and maid,
And the sweet babe, and the gray-headed man --
All one by one be gathered to thy side,
By those, who in their turn shall follow them.

So live that when they summons comes to join
The innumerable caravan that moves
To that mysterious realm, where each shall take
His chamber in the silent halls of death,
Thou go not, like the quarry slave at night,
Scourged to his dungeon, but, sustained and soothed
By an unfaltering trust, approach they grave
Like one who wraps the drapery of his couch
About him, and lies down to pleasant dreams.


- William Cullen Bryant




Thursday, September 4, 2014

Thursday Verse: "Something Nice About Myself" - Phillip Whalen

Something Nice About Myself

Lots of people who no longer love each other
Keep on loving me
& I

I make myself rarely available

 - Phillip Whalen

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Music for your Midweek: My Brightest Diamond - "High Low Middle"

Are you crazy for My Brightest Diamond yet? I won tickets to her show at Urban Lounge in December, and I can hardly wait! She's released a couple new songs that you can listen to on Spotify. Until then, check out this track. It was part of last September's mix as well. Such a cute video:

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Thursday Verse: "A Vacancy" - Joanna McClure

A Vacancy

An old unconsummated
Love... hangs sadly
In my thoughts

When passion is gone,
The moment--unspent--
Stands silent, accusing,

An abortion, neither buried
Nor born--its space
A vacancy

 - Joanna McClure

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Music for your Midweek: Laura Mvula, "Father Father"

Laura Mvula just released her new album of orchestral arrangements, and it's beautiful. Give the whole thing a listen. Here's one of my favorite renditions:


Thursday, August 21, 2014

Thursday Verse: "Preface to a twenty volume suicide note: For Kelly Jones, born 16 May 1959" - Leroi Jones

PREFACE TO A TWENTY VOLUME SUICIDE NOTE
For Kellie Jones, born 16 May 1959

Lately, I've become accustomed to the way
The ground opens up and envelops me
Each time I go out to walk the dog.
Or the broad edged silly music the wind
Makes when I run for a bus...

Things Have come to that.

And now, each night I count the stars,
And each night I get the same number.
And when they will not come to be counted,
I count the holes they leave.

Nobody sings anymore.

And then last night, I tiptoed up
To my daughter's room and heard her
Talking to someone, and when I opened
The door, there was no one there...
Only she on her knees, peeking into

Her own clasped hands.

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Music for your Midweek: John Lennon - "Look at Me"

I've been going through all my old burned cds, deciding what to toss, and what to keep. It's been fun exploring all my old mixes. Each one is like a time machine. Here's a track that was in hey rotation during high school. That romantic, existential angst never left me:

Friday, August 15, 2014

August Mix: "There's nothing in our way..."

After a long hiatus (a summer break, of sorts) I'm back in action. I've taken to regroup and re-evaluate things. It's been a much needed vacation, and I've loved it. Spent time with family and friends, taking on the occasional temp work, catering, or nanny job to help pay the bills. If you ever get the chance to be perfectly selfish for a bit of time, I highly recommend it.

I'm returning from a break. Here's a mix!

1. Ghost - Poor Remy
2. Four Days Straight - Scattered Trees
4. Hard on Me - Robby Hunter Band
5. My Song 5 - Haim
6. So far (Tiger Baby Remix) - Marsheaux
8. Wilhelm Scream - The Bamboos feat. Megan Washington
10. White Morning - Seoul
11. My Oh My - Sivu
13. Vicious - Lou Reed
14. To The Top - Twin Shadow
15. Here We Are - Patrick Park
16. Sail - Noosa
17. To Love Again Feat. Just Another Snake Cult - Oliver Tank & Rainbow Chan
18. Upon The Heath - Mr Hudson & The Library

To listen on Spotify, use this:



Note, not all tracks featured on this mix

NOTES:
1. First found this track by listening to Pleasant Grove High School's radio station. It's one of the best stations in Utah! 96.7
9. Most beautiful, poetic love song.
12. Great cover! This song is destined to be a classic.
14. Twin Shadow! I'm bummed I missed him when he came to the Twilight, but I kissed him on the cheek at the after show, so that counts for something?
18. Missing my dad...

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Thursday Verse: "Parachutes, My Love, Could Carry Us Higher" - Barbara Guest

Parachutes, My Love, Could Carry Us Higher

I just said I didn't know
And now you are holding me
In your arms,
How kind.
Parachutes, my love, could carry us higher.
Yet around the net I am floating
Pink and pale blue fish are caught in it,
They are beautiful,
But they are not good for eating.
Parachutes, my love, could carry us higher
Than this mid-air in which we tremble,
Having exercised our arms in swimming,
Now the suspension, you say,
Is exquisite. I do not know.
There is coral below the surface,
There is sand, and berries
Like pomegranates grow.
This wide net, I am treading water
Near it, bubbles are rising and salt
Drying on my lashes, yet I am no nearer
Air than water. I am closer to you
Than land and I am in a stranger ocean
Than I wished.

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Music for your MIdweek: Beck - "Blue Moon" and "Wave"

Hey kids! I finally gave Beck's new album this week in preparation for the Twilight concert coming up tomorrow. I'm going to be candid with you. If he mostly plays songs from his new album, it's going to be a snoozefest. A lovely, melodic snoozefest. That's not to say I don't like the album, it's just a more mellow, atmospheric album. That being said, I quite enjoyed this track:



But the song that really grabbed me is "Wave". I first heard this song when it was used in a performance of So You Think You Can Dance. So beautiful. Watch below, and be amazed:



And here's another troupe dancing to Beck's "Turn Away". You may recognize the track from the trailer for Wild. Dancers love Beck!




Hope to see you at the show!

Thursday, August 7, 2014

Thursday Verse: "Tears" - Allen Ginsberg

Tears

I'm crying all the time now.
I cried all over the street when I left the Seattle 
        Wobbly Hall.
I cried listening to Bach.
I cried looking at the happy flowers in my backyard,
        I cried at the sadness of the middle-aged trees.

Happiness exists I feel it.
I cried for my soul, I cried for the world's soul.
The world has a beautiful soul.
God appearing to be seen and cried over. Overflowing
        heart of Paterson.

Thursday, July 31, 2014

Thursday Verse: "My Alba" - Allen Ginsberg

My Alba

Now that I've wasted
five years in Manhattan
life decaying
talent a blank

talking disconnected
patient and mental
sliderule and number
machine on a desk

autographed triplicate
synopsis and taxes
obedient prompt
poorly paid

stayed on the market
youth of my twenties
fainted in offices
wept on typewriters

deceived multitudes
in vast conspiracies
deodorant battleships
serious business industry

every six weeks whoever
drank my blood bank
innocent evil now
part of my system

five years unhappy labor
22to27 working
not a dime in the bank
to show for it anyway

dawn breaks it's only the sun
the East smokes O my bedroom
I am damned to Hell what
alarmclock is ringing

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Thursday Verse: "My First View of Western Prairie" - Eliza R. Snow

My First View of a Western Prairie

The loveliness of Nature always did
Delight me. In the days of childhood, when
My young light heart, in all the buoyancy
Of its own bright imagination's spell,
Beat in accordant consonance to all
For which it cherish'd an affinity,
The summer glory of the landscape rous'd
Within my breast a princely feeling.
Time's Obliterating strokes cannot erase
The impulse, with my being interwove;
And oftentimes, in the fond ecstacy
Of youth's effervescence, I've gaz'd
Upon the richly variegated fields,
Which most emphatically spoke the praise
Of Nature, and the Cultivator's skill.

But when I heard the western trav'ller paint
The splendid beauties of the far-off West;
Where Nature's pastures, rich and amply broad,
Waving in full abundance, seem to mock
The agriculturists of eastern soil;
I grew incredulous that Nature's dress
Should be so rich, and so domestic, and
So beautiful, without the touch of Art;
And thought the picture fancifully wrought.

Yet, in the process of revolving scenes,
I left the place of childhood and of youth;
And as I journey'd t'ward the setting sun,
As if awaking from a nightly dream,
Into a scenery grand and strangely new,
I almost thought myself transported back
Upon the retrograding wheel of time,
To days and scenes when Greece presided o'er
The destinies of earth; and when she shone
Like her ador'd Apollo; without one
Tall rival in the field of Literature;
And fancied then myself as standing on
That towering mount of truly classic fame
That overlooks the rich, the fertile, and
The far-extended vales of Crissa: or
That in some wild poetic spell, of deep
Unconscious recklessness, I'd stray'd afar
Upon the flowing plains of Marathon.
But soon reflection's potent wand dispell'd
The false illusion, and I realiz'd That I was not inhaling foreign air,
Or moving in a scene emblazon'd with
The classic legends of antiquity.
O, no: the scenery around was not Enchantment.
'Twas the bright original Of those fair images and ideal forms,
Which fancy's pencil is so prompt to sketch.
Instead of treading on Ionian fields,
I stood upon Columbian soil, and in
The rich and fertile state of Illinois.

Amaz'd, I view'd until my optic nerve
Grew dull and giddy with the frenzy of
The innocent delight; and I exclaim'd,
With Sheba's queen, "One half had not been told."

But then my thought--can I describe my thoughts?
No: for description's liveliest powers grow lame,
Whenever put upon the chase of things
Of non-existence; and my thoughts had all,
Like liquid matter, melted down, and had
Become, as with a secret touch, absorb'd
In the one all-engrossing feeling of
Deep admiration, vivid and intense.
And my imagination too, for once
Acknowledg'd its own imbecility,
And cower'd down as if to hide away;
For all its powers had been too cold and dull,
Too tame and too domestic far, to draw
A parallel with the bold grandeur, and
The native beauty, of the "Western World!"

- Eliza R. Snow

Happy Pioneer Day!




Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Music for your Midweek: Son Lux - "Easy" (Blogotheque version)

It's too hot.
So here's a song that matches the weather.

A great great great live version of Son Lux's "Easy".

Stay cool, or not.
Enjoy.

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Thursday Verse: "#9" - Lawrence Ferlinghetti

#9

                    "Truth is not the secret of a few"
                                                                 yet
you would maybe think so
                                           the way some
                    librarians
     and cultural ambassadors and
                                   especially museum directors
                                                                                act

               you'd think they had a corner
                                                               on it
                  the way they
                                       walk around shaking
        their high heads and
                                      looking as if they never
            went to the bath
                         room or anything

                But I wouldn't blame them
if I were you
                     They say the Spiritual is best conceived
   in abstract terms
                      and then too
       walking around in museums always make me
                    want to
                                 "sit down"
               I always feel so
                                         constipated
          in those
                       high altitudes
           

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Thursday Verse: "Revolutionary Letter #1" - Diane Di Prima

Revolutionary Letter #1

I have just realized that the stakes are myself
I have no other
ransom money, nothing to break or barter but my life
my spirit measured out, in bits, spread over
the roulette table, I recoup what I can
nothing else to shove under the nose of the maître de jeu
nothing to thrust out the window, no white flag
this flesh all I have to offer, to make the play with
this immediate head, what it comes up with, my move
as we slither over this go board, stepping always
(we hope) between the lines

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Music for your Midweek: Polica - Wandering Star

Hey there.
Slowly creeping my way back into blogging.
Being unemployed is EXHAUSTING.

But really.
I used to blog all the time to escape the monotony of work and school, and since I'm not doing much of either of those things, I haven't needed it as much. But there are still things I want to share, so here it goes!

This song has been on my radar for a while. Can't remember if I've shared it with you already, so please forgive me if it's a repeat. So You Think You Can Dance has started up again, so I'm even more interested in anything dancey. Enjoy:

Sunday, June 15, 2014

A summation of father's day, church things, and life right now

After Her Death - Mary Oliver

I am trying to find the lesson
for tomorrow. Matthew something.
Which lectionary? I have not forgotten 
the Way, but a little, 
the way to the Way. The trees keep whispering
peace, peace, and the birds
in the shallows are full of the 
bodies of small fish and are 
content. They open their wings 
so easily, and fly. It is still 
possible.
               I open the book
which the strange, difficult, beautiful church
has given me. To Matthew. Anywhere.




Thursday, June 5, 2014

Thursday Verse: "We real cool" - Gwendolyn Brooks

                The Pool Players.
        Seven at the Golden Shovel.


            We real cool. We   
            Left school. We

            Lurk late. We
            Strike straight. We

            Sing sin. We   
            Thin gin. We

            Jazz June. We   
            Die soon.




Hear Gwendolyn read the poem here

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Music for your Midweek: 5 Seconds of Summer - "She Looks So Perfect" OR How this post made me lose all my music credibility

IT'S PRACTICALLY SUMMER!

Which means we don't have to be smart anymore. And you can listen to all the trashy pop music you want, with no judgement!

Last summer was the summer of "Blurred Lines", and "Get Lucky". What will be the song of 2014?

"She Looks So Perfect" used to be one of the top of potential summer contenders, but I haven't seen it listed anywhere since. That's ok. It has a special space in my heart:


If 5 Seconds of Summer doesn't make it, I'll be pretty happy with "Fancy" as song of the summer.
So great.

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Music for your Midweek: Cosmo Sheldrake - "The Moss"

One of the bestbestbestest things about being unemployed is having time to find new music again. All ya'll know I'm a big fan of Hype Machine. I'm sad to say it, I've been a bit bored with their "popular" offerings. I've realized I should probably go back to podcasts. I follow all the typical NPR onesSLUG has a good one with local music and info. Do you guys have any music podcast recommendations?


ANYWAY. I was about to give up hope on Hype Machine, when I found him:






He is a music hunter/gatherer. 


Check it out:



Pretty incredible how he uses all these found sounds. Each one is alive, and has a history. It's beautiful. And a welcome surprise hearing his music after hours of songs that all sounded the same. Here's the song: "The Moss"




This track seemed like an mix between Joanna Newsom and Alt-J, no?

It has both whimsical lyrical imagery and a quirky digital beats. And I always appreciate a good Alice in Wonderland reference:



If you're not already converted to the Cosmo Sheldrake fan club by listening to his music, read the bio from his website:


Cosmo Sheldrake is a multi instrumentalist musician, composer and producer. He regularly performs on banjo, loop station, keyboards, double bass, drums, penny whistle, sousaphone, accordion and many more. He is an inspirational singer and improviser, and much of his work is concerned with play, nonsense and the sonorous environment. He composes music for film and theatre and tours internationally, performing solo and with several bands including Johnny Flynn and the Sussex Wit and Gentle Mystics. He ran a community choir until 2013, teaches privately and in schools, and has facilitated music workshops and youth empowerment and nature awareness camps in both Europe and North America. He performed at a TEDx event in 2013 and recently returned from New York, where he studied vocal improvisation with Bobby Mcferrin. Based in London, he is currently composing the music for a series of Beckett plays at the Young Vic, and writing music for children’s hospitals and hospices. He will be releasing his debut single on Transgressive Records in April 2014. He is an inspirational teacher and facilitator of music workshops, community choirs and private lessons. He teaches blues, vocal improvisation, beatboxing, and general musical aural fluency. His approach focuses on learning to play by ear.
“Cosmo Sheldrake is a formidable and well-trained facilitator of experiential art and nature workshops. His expertise is three-pronged: Creativity, energy and compassion. His workshop design and delivery is consistently innovative, pushing conventional edges and setting a very high bar for musical faciltiation in particular. He is boundlessly energetic, and that energy is transferred to his participants who generally leave his sessions grinning and refreshed. Finally, and possibly most importantly, he is a very empathic listener, a gentle and patient teacher of skills and ideas, and is unafraid of engaging deep emotion. I would highly recommend any workshop he is facilitating. See you there.” – Nadia Chaney, regional coordinater of PYE Global


He has a generous soul, that Cosmo. Plus, he plays with my other favorite, Johnny Flynn. So you know he is good people. 


Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Music for your Midweek: Iggy Azalea - "Fancy"

I'm three days into my new-found "freedom". So far, so good! I'm back to a fitness routine, down-sizing, and planning for the future. And I have lots of time to do the blogging I've neglected. That's good, right?


Well I'm sure y'all have already seen Emma Stone's incredible lip-sync battle with Jimmy Fallon.


Yep. She threw down.
You may remember Jimmy's first song was Iggy Azalea's "Fancy". Well I finally checked out the music video, and it is FAB. A full recreation of Clueless (which I love). Check it out:






Note: The song is explicit, I guess? So watch it with the volume turned down? I don't know.

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Music for your Midweek: Sufjan Stevens and Chris Thile

This song is a match made in heaven. Sufjan Steven's The Age of Adz has a special place in my heart. I listened to that album constantly when I was living at Aspen Grove. It's the soundtrack to my daily drives through Provo Canyon and the Alpine Loop. I watched him perform at Kingsbury Hall and was mesmerized. Sufjan has become progressively weird and great. I've loved seeing his transformation.

Later that month, I discovered Punch Brothers while listening to Prairie Home Companion. And their album Antifogmatic became another driving soundtrack. Little did I know that these two musical worlds would one day meet!

Here's Chris Thile and Gabriel Kahane covering "Impossible Soul". Well, the first 4 minutes of it. I know the video looks a little rough, but when the music starts, it comes through pretty clear. Enjoy:


Heaven.


Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Friday, April 18, 2014

April Mix: We All Shine On

Your mix for the month, dear friends. I move from Provo in a couple weeks, so I believe this mix declares it the end of an era. Onwards and upwards!

1. Happy (Woodkid Sad remix) - Pharrell


2. Flickers (Zeds Dead Remix) - Son Lux


3. Tainted Love (Original) - Gloria Jones


4. Other People - Beach House


5. The Suburbs (Arcade Fire cover) - Cuff The Duke


6. Trying To Be Cool (RAC Mix) - Phoenix


7. Black Out Days - Phantogram


8. Distance - Emily King


9. Red Eyes - The War on Drugs


10. The First Cut Is The Deepest (Original) - P.P. Arnold


11. Now You Know My Name - The Derevolutions


12. My Evaline - Weezer


13. Hannah Hunt - Vampire Weekend


14. Velvet (The Big Pink cover) - Lykke Li


15. Younger - Seinabo Sey


16. Instant Karma - Scattered Trees


17. Katoucha - Seydou Boro


NOTES:
1. I have a well-documented love of Pharrell Williams. But sorry mom, I do not love "Happy". It bores me. This remix is absolutely beautiful though.
3. The best. One of these days, I'm going to be a karaoke star, and this will be my go-to jam.
7. I got to see these guys on Wednesday. So fun. Thanks to little brother Jeremy for the tix!
13. "If I can't trust you, then damn it Hannah...
      There's no future, there's no answer
      Though we live on the US dollar
      You and me we got our own sense of time"
14. A shout-out to 4 years ago. My first semester back at BYU, I listened to this song on the daily. Later that year, The Big Pink came into town and did a free DJ set at Graywhale...And nobody came. OK exaggeration, me and Jeremy and 3 random teenage girls were there. Have you seen these two? Such a funny pair. Their size disparity is even more pronounced in real life. We chatted with them a bit, and they were friendly. But I could tell that they were thinking: "What in the bloody hell are we doing in the bloody tiny record store and there is no one here and WTF". But they didn't let those thoughts show. They kept asking if we were coming to the show, and I'd never been to Urban Lounge and none of my friends were going and I didn't want to go by myself. So I didn't go. And, don't laugh. It's one of my biggest regrets. I have always felt this burden to play hostess and be like, a representative of all of Utah and all of Salt Lake and all Mormons when I meet semi-famous people. I don't know. I want every person who stops by Salt Lake to have a great time, and to love this city as much as I do. Is that weird? Anyway, here is LykkeLi doing a cover of one of my favorite songs.
15. Life motto
17. Do you feel like sobbing? Watch this. I love this movie.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Music for your Midweek: Eva Cassidy - "Somewhere Over the Rainbow"

I first heard Eva Cassidy at my cousins wedding. His father has passed away unexpectedly just a week before their marriage. It was a difficult, bittersweet time, and feelings were close to the surface. He and his mom danced to Eva's beautiful cover of "Fields of Gold". A day later, we held a funeral for his dad.

I hadn't really learned about Eva Cassidy, or her music, but recently rediscovered her through this music cover blog. They call it the best cover of the song, and I think I agree.



Tuesday, April 15, 2014

"When I think of my wife, I always think of her head..."

I've been in a literary slump, so I picked up Gillian Flynn's debut novel, "Sharp Objects" from the library yesterday. On a whim, I checked to see if a trailer had been released for the the movie version of Gone Girl. Guys, that book was addicting.

And they just so happened to release the trailer to the movie yesterday. Posted online at the exact moment I checked out her first book from the library. Coincidence? I think not. It was meant to be.

Watch it. I AM DYING.


Absolutely perfect casting. Cannot wait.


Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Music for your Midweek: Miguel and Wale - "Bennie and the Jets"

Super super great cover from Miguel and Wale of Elton John's Bennie and the Jets. We like Elton John in my family, both old and new incarnations. His album, "Songs from the West Coast", reminds me of driving back and forth from Wendover. Guys, JT was in one of his music videos from that album. This is before we knew that Justin Timberlake was legit. And his music video for "I Want Love" has Robert Downey Jr. in his first acting role after being in rehab, eventually kicking off the slow climb to one of the best comebacks in Hollywood history?

Legendary stuff. No joke.

Anyway, the more I hear stuff from Miguel, the more I think he's alright. I like the sound of this cover:


Don't know why there's an ad for sneakers the whole time... whatevs.

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Priorities

I'm moving out of Provo in less than a month guys! I have so much to do to prep, I'm really excited. I also just found out that I need to buy a new car within the next 4 months... humph. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. So I'm starting a savings plan and trying to be really responsible BUT ALL I WANT TO DO IS BUY THIS COOL TABLE IT IS PERFECT AND I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR IT ALL MY LIFE:

My precious...
Glossy white lacquer...
Brass tipped feet...
Perfect to hold my turntable, records, and speakers...

And it can be mine for only $2,300!

TWO THOUSAND THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS

Guys, do I even really need a car? Curse you Gwyneth Paltrow and your good taste in furniture. Though I guess if I was going through conscious uncoupling, I would want to buy myself a few nice things too. 

Maybe I can just get this gold-leafed hexagonal table instead. It's a third of the price, and very chic. What a steal! Some days I don't want anything to do with money, and some days I just want all the money in the world. quite a conundrum.